Legislating Common Sense


This is from bill (H.R.6147) which is for the appropriations for the Department of the Interior, environment, and related agencies for the fiscal year ending September 30, 2019. After I read this part all I could think was seriously? Is this a thing?

Pricey Pens

Must we really enact legislation that includes in it a clause regarding the maximum amount of funds that can be used for the purchase of a single fricken pen. That maximum here is $50… per pen… $50. that’s it, that’s the cut off? Really?! First off, if they are addressing it in a bill you know that it’s been happening. What unnecessary and over paid bureaucrat in a (clearly) over funded agency was going to town on 24 karat gold or tungsten plated fountain pens? What asshole was buying John Hancock’s Declaration of Independence quill, or an extreme temperature, zero G underwater space pen? And why?! Oh yeah, because they can. In my opinion the administrator of the EPA shouldn’t have to worry about the price of pens, because like every other out of touch jackass that works for the government, they should all be using the same cheap ass Bic pens that come in a bag of 20 for like $2.

bic pen                     (They are of course, free to choose between blue black and red ink)


When You’re Strange….


🎶 Sometimes you get coins in a game!🎵

when you're strange

🎼When you’re straaaange! (🎤🎸=🚪)

Chauvinist Pig


White Meat

Someone Needs an Ass Chewing

O.C.D. O.D.

The ceiling of this particular bar in Meeteetse, Wyoming was partially adorned with the metal lids of a couple hundred chew cans. It didn’t bug me that the ceiling was only about 1/5 completed, what bugged me was the glaring giant holes right in the middle.

In Progress…


I forgot about this gem, hidden in the depths of my photo album… I came home one night and found this cryptic creation on the kitchen table. Inside a metal tin was a lump of grainy putty stuff (I think it was some kind of metal sculpting clay stuff) surrounded on the outside by 8 rays of tiny magnetic cubes…. When I asked him about it he just told me “I wanted to see what would happen.” Unfortunately, nothing did. Or did it….?

Yellow? Is This Paul Mitchell…?

Yellow, Paul Mitchell?

After scouring the house for an eternity looking for lotion this is all I could come up with… and once I’d schloped it onto my hand I realized why it hadn’t been used. It took me even longer to identify why I found it so offensive. It’s because not only does ‘lemon sage’ smell like a clown’s ass after a birthday party, but it also has the look and feel of honey mustard. Honestly I would have rather had the latter.

No Poon Intended